Lessons in Life

How do you measure success?


The dictionary definition of success reads

“the accomplishment of an aim or purpose”

Most people when thinking about success will think about things that have gone well, the achievements they have made, decisions taken, promotions, healthy life, happy family and so much more!

However, have you ever thought about success in a different way? When life throws curve balls at us and our paths hit a roadblock we often believe that we have failed when things go wrong.  It’s human nature to beat ourselves up when our plans do not go according to plan. I should know had rather a few of these life-defining moments.

When I think about each of the curve balls I have been hit with – at the time they were painful, stressful and emotional times to handle.  Nobody wants to admit failure – but I guess it also depends on how you react to these times. We can either curl up into a ball and blame everyone and everything around us or we can bounce back with vim and vigour.

It is often these times that we learn the most about ourselves and those around us. How are family and friends react to our circumstances can speak volumes.  Yes, you can hear some of them now cant you saying ” I told you so ” or ” When will you learn?”

Only a few will be there for you at your time of need. Offering to help in any way that they can. Without judging you. Many people bounce back as their glass is always half full – but not everyone has this positive outlook on life. Having gone through many of life’s challenges – would you consider walking away from a dead end job, a failing relationship / marriage a failure or success?

To actually initiate that change, takes great courage. Most people take some of these key decisions in isolation for fear of judgement from those close to them. Or for fear of being talked out of making the decision.  A song, film or a book can often help you make these life-changing decisions.

I find songs fire up my emotions they remind me of the sad times and the good times in my life. I have used music to lift my emotions many a time in my life. Books have helped me chose career paths – help many of my own clients.  And films – have given me lots to ponder on – when you truly open your eyes and listen intently to many messages your own position can suddenly appear different.  “Pay it forward ” one of my all-time favourites – really made me appreciate the life I have.

Books ” Who moved my cheese ” has been of great help to many clients I have coached in the years.  Coaches – again people view their use as a sign of success and failure. Why do we need help – is that really a sign of failure or a sign of strength? No one has all the answers in life. If we need a helping hand along the way every now and then is that really a problem.  For some it is – for others, it’s the most natural way to resolve decisions they have been put off for years.  I once coached a client for 3 years who was living in a relationship defined by her as “dead and buried” years ago. Why did she stay for so long? Fear of the unknown.  Fear – we cannot see, taste or feel it. However FEAR is so strong that it prevents us all from taking the steps we need to take to start change.

So regardless of your views on what success is – having someone to talk to at your greatest time of need to me has to be SUCCESS.  


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